Face Mask

THIS CAN ALSO BE FOUND IN THE HOW TO TAB

Truth be told, I found this on Pintrest.

Yes, I'm just another white girl looking up skincare techniques on the internet.

ANYWAY,

here goes...

So we all know those Biore nose strips, right?

The ones made famous for little girls like me in the first Princess Diaries when she unceremoniously ripped it off when faced with her spurned crush, Michael.

They're very simple - you wet it and put it on your nose and let it harden and then peel it off. Yes, it sort of hurts. It hurts less if you just rip it off, but it's far less effective that way. Like they say, beauty is pain.

I found a recipe on Pintrest to make one for your whole face. A face mask of sorts.

RECIPE:

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon of knorr unflavored gelatin

1&1/2 tablespoons of milk

Directions:

Mix them together (IN A PLASTIC CUP OR SOMETHING YOU'RE OKAY WITH THROWING AWAY I WILL NOT MAKE THAT MISTAKE TWICE) and put it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds.

Apply it to your face with like a popsicle stick (SOMETHING YOU CAN THROW AWAY) quickly! It hardens really fast.

Then you wait it out.

The first time I tried it I only put it on my nose because I was vaguely concerned about slapping this weird mix of stuff on my whole face.

NOTE TO ALL: Don't put it too close to your eyes because your eyelashes with get stuck in it and it will hurt like a mother and you'll lose half your eyelashes.
It did sort of hurt when I was pulling it off but that probably mostly due to the eyelash pluckage.
I decided that I'm pretty sure it worked... the skin around my nose feels smoother and stuff. However, I was still scared to do it to my whole face.

So I texted my friend Maggie and informed her that I would be arriving at her house in the evening and she had to do it with me.
Fast forward to that evening:

She agreed that it smelled super weird and we just stood there in her bathroom applying this stuff to our faces and trying not to drip it in our hair. (I got a ton of it in my eyebrow).
We then sat back to wait until it hardened. (You can tell just by touching it when it's ready.)

The problem is that when it hardens and sinks into your pores and stuff it also takes a tight grip on any of the little hairs or peach fuzz on your face. It's just like those nose strips. So it sort of hurts when you peel it off. It's doesn't hurt that bad, it's just... Uncomfortable. We were standing in her bathroom making these really weird noises as we peeled it off. I was terrified for my eyebrows but it turns out if you just apply water with like a washcloth it comes right out. So I still have my eyebrows! Yay!

Maggie and I both agreed that the pain was worth it and our faces feel softer and that we would do it again.

So there you go. There's my stolen Pintrest face mask.

Dead

I know I haven't posted in freaking forever... and I apologize for that... but some stuff has been happening and I just haven't been feeling very funny.

BUT GREY'S ANATOMY HAPPENED TODAY AND OH MY ****.

I can't even explain it.

I'm going full white girl and announcing I CAN'T EVEN.

It physically hurts.

In all of my organs.

Every.

Single.

One of them.

We cried. Kendra and I cried. I never cry at movies. It makes me feel weak. AND I AM VERY WEAK THIS EVENING.

Nope. I'm done. Maybe more tomorrow when I can put together a real sentence.

Over

A begrudged apology

I taunted you with a post for today but it didn't really happen and I apologize but I accidentally took a three hour nap this afternoon and when I finally woke up it was like I was coming out of a coma.
I've spent the last I don't know how many hours doing homework and then I remembered I had an online lecture to watch for tomorrow and that turned out to be another hour and UGH.
Bedtime.
Okay.
Forgive me.

Over.

Intermittent

Ugh.

I know I'm not blogging and I sort of promised I would.

I'm so terrible.

Yada yada.

Whatevs.

School has started again and my life is once again being pulled to and fro, controlled by the whims and fancies of professors that are intent upon destroying any happiness that I may now have or may come up on the coming months.
Fabulous.

I have this list of topics and anecdote on my phone to write about but it's lateish and I was just going to give you a brief update and since I DON'T HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW you might get an actual post... We'll see.

Over.

Resolutions

Okay. I'm getting a little deep today.
I wrote this at like 3AM last night.

So it's a new year. January first, which will be followed by January second, then third, and so on. Yet despite this being another day in a long line of other days, we ascribe it a special importance. Who decided that this would be the do-over date? All a year represents is the cycle of the earth around the sun. Who decided when the cycle "restarted"? I have many questions. One of which is: what are my resolutions this year? That's always the question they ask. Everyone always has an answer. Go to the gym three times a week. Quit eating fast food. Stop drunk texting him. Stop sober texting him. Either way the result is the same.

We let a calendar decide when we want to be a new person. As if today is so much different than yesterday and the fact that it's now "2015" means that I'll have more willpower. False. I have the same amount of willpower. Which is none.

My resolution is this: I will not make a resolution. I will not start this year by picking apart what I think is wrong with me and endeavoring to fix it. I will be me, a person who is a total delight filled with sarcasm and great fun at parties and if at some point in the future if I decide that I don't like something that I do, then I'll change it. But I won't start this year believing parts of me are mistakes.

Over.

YANKEE SWAP

ALRIGHT GUYS.
I'm Christmas blogging. (For Dave)

So it's Christmas Eve and all of the children are back in the Rosenau household:

(the band's back together again)

They've only tried to beat me up twice.

So we went to Christmas Eve church and came back and had our Christmas Eve chili, etc.

Then,

Mom looks up at all of us and says: "While we were at church, Santa came."

Big brother: "And robbed us."

Turns out Santa chucked everything down the chimney early and all of the presents were all mixed up.

GASP.

She brought us the large box full of wrapped up gifts (there were probably about 30 of them, various shapes and sizes)

Dad then produces this:

(he let me in on the secret that Santa got it for 9 dollars at target)

and tells us that we are going to bingo for the gifts.

Apparently the rule book that Santa left with the presents stipulated that this was a white elephant bingo, with the option of stealing.

Older brother and I immediately yelled, "YANKEE SWAP" and began obnoxiously quoting that episode of The Office. (I live my life through The Office quotes and parallels. I don't know anything else and I don't WANT to know anything else.)

We are each issued two bingo cards and a bunch of chips and the game began.

(Basically the point was that when you got a bingo you got to pick a new gift or steal, just like white elephant or YANKEE SWAP. "I thought that was called nasty christmas?")

Let me just make it clear that I COMPLETELY DOMINATED. (As much as you can dominate at bingo.

Funny thing was, Santa was oddly specific in his gifts.

I chose a bow tie and pocket square (quickly stolen by little brother) and little brother opened a pair of Gryffindor socks accompanied by a tire pressure gauge, obviously intended for me.

OH. THE BEST ONE.

There was a teddy bear.

(Exhibit A: the teddy bear)

I didn't think anything of it until little brother looks at it and suddenly says, "OH. I KNOW WHERE THAT CAME FROM."

Turns out 'Santa' had taken said bear from somewhere within our very house.

Then, little brother looks at me and says, "That bear was given to me by ****** ****** for my birthday when I was thirteen." (name redacted). ****** ****** was little brother's girlfriend from seventh grade to freshman year. AND SANTA STOLE, WRAPPED, AND REGIFTED HER TEDDY BEAR GIFT.

Strangely enough, little brother didn't want it back and now I really don't know what to do with it.

I also got a pretty sweet screwdriver set. And more socks.

Anyway, that was our Christmas Eve.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS.

Over.

Will the five armies please kill me?

It's one am, but I just saw the third hobbit and oh my gosh guys or I have to say something or my head might explode.

I am in physical pain.

Tolkien is spinning in his grave.

If I had the choice between giving birth and watching this movie then I would have to say that birth may actually be less painful and take less time.

(Remember, I'm saying all of this as a person who actually read the book)

Cousin Carol and I went together and we both sat there just crying at the inaccuracy. It's even worse than the first two.

Send help.

I'm dying. 

Over.