It's a long one

The girls and I tried this homemade paint thing today. We mixed a cup of corn starch with a cup of water and added food coloring. Looking back, I would do it differently, but it was still fun. We painted the sidewalk for awhile then we threw the excess around to make splatter art. It looked epic. Like a multicolored murder scene.

We also watched High School Musical 2. I HAVE NOT SEEN THAT MOVIE IN SO LONG. I MEAN EVERYONE KNOWS THAT IT'S THE WORST OF THE THREE BUT STILL. IT'S A HUGELY SUCCESSFUL HIGHLY LUCRATIVE FRANCHISE THAT IS DESIGNED TO LURE IN YOUNG GIRLS WITH THE PROMISE OF CUTE BOYS AND HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA. And then I actually got to high school and its was nothing like Disney channel led me to believe.

We had ice cream at work today, and I got a Dilly bar, which I haven't had in YEARS. When I was younger, my parents only ever got me Dilly bars. I didn't even know blizzards EXISTED until I was like 13. And then I was like, OH MY GOSH THIS IS WHAT DAN HAS BEEN HAVING WHILE I'VE BEEN STUCK WITH A FREAKING DILLY BAR IN THE BACKSEAT. I didn't even know there were multiple Dilly bar flavors! Until today! I found out there are different flavors TODAY.

Dad also informed over dinner that there is a mint chocolate option. Thank you father.

So... Tank has developed this habit of peeing when he gets excited. Like when someone comes in the door. Anyone. He's peed on two of my friends this week. HE'S PEEING ON MY FRIENDS. HE PEED ON ME TONIGHT. AND ALL I DID WAS LET HIM OUT OF HIS KENNEL. 

Over.

Update

I'm so done with mashed potatoes. Seriously. Even ice cream is losing its charm. All I want... Is a hamburger. Or a piece of pizza. JUST SOMETHING SOLID. 

But on the upside we have surpassed the three to five day window in which dry sockets usually occur! Yay wisdom teeth removal!

Blogging while intoxicated

I should not be blogging while high on pain medication that I was prescribed after my wisdom teeth removal. But I am. But I am NOT posting a video because my cheeks are all fat like a chipmunk and I cannot have that circulating the Internet. Nope. Too much.

So... I've just been sitting around the house watching movies for the last two days. I'm not allowed to do stairs by myself anymore unless I scoot down them like a toddler because I rolled down them on Friday and mom doesn't want me to have any more dental work done. I eat lots of ice cream. And mashed potatoes. My mom is probably getting tired of making mashed potatoes. And she has to get up at three in the morning to feed me my pain pill so that's not very fun either :( she's the best mommy.

I AM SO SLEEPY AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT FALLING OVER.

And I have chipmunk face.

I'm silly.

I like my ice cream.

Over.

AMERICA.

I love America on the 4th of July. Seriously. I feel sorry for the British (not just because it's the anniversary of our divorce from them) and the Germans and the Australians and everyone else who doesn't have a big day, once a year where it's totally okay to act like a jerk to everyone who is not of your nationality and eat themed foods and blow a lot of things up. We become a real unified nation for one day. One day where it's all YEAH AMERICA. YOU GO AMERICA. YOU BEAT UP BRITAIN. GREAT JOB. And fireworks. I love fireworks. They're so gorgeous and amazing and like, wow, we've progressed to the age where we understand fire enough to make shapes and colors project into the sky. Flippin' sweet.

But someone could totally get shot on the 4th of July and no one would ever know. Like seriously, someone could be mowed down with a machine gun and everyone would be like, 'firecrackers! I love them!'

So...patriotism aside... I get my wisdom teeth removed at 8 am tomorrow morning. YIPPEE. I'm looking forward to the happy drugs, and the excuse to not to do anything for several days but I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO the stabbing pain that will reside in my mouth for quite some time.

Maybe if you guys are lucky I'll post a video of myself hopped up on crazy drugs.

God bless America.

Over.

Prizes...

So I work at a library and I picked my prizes for the summer reading program yesterday (just because I work there doesn't mean I can't participate and win prizes!) and here's what I got.

They're for my dorm room...

All the cool kids are going to want to be friends with me.

I can explain the Camp Rock poster.

I was a big Disney kid.

Over.

I can't get up mom. The blankets have accepted me as one of their own. If I leave now I might lose their trust.

She's Going To Jail

Today I was at work and I thought about the time when I was in like eighth grade and we went to the Durham museum and some girl got caught with vodka in her water bottle and the vice principal had to pick her up and drive her back to the school and all I could think about was how awkward that ride would have been and would she have sat in the front seat or the back seat and if she was in the back was he glaring at her through the rear view mirror and how did she get caught anyway?

I PROMISED YOU GUYS A STORY:

So... a friends of mine came out for a few days of our vacation and we (plus Sam and his friend Kyle) decided we were going to go swimming in the lake for awhile. There was a roped off section and there were a bunch of people there but not too many and we had our floaties that we had bought at the Woodbine Dollar General (AKA the 'Walmart of Woodbine') (they cost $6 but we had at least $18 worth of fun). SO WE HAD OUR FLOATIES and we were in the water, floating around and such and this little boy swims over to us. He proceeded to tell us that his name was Seth and she told him her name and he told us he was 11 and a half and she told him we were 18. He sort of looked like he was having trouble swimming so she asked him if he wanted to hold onto her tube. He did. He wrapped his arms around her neck and a moment later she mouthed, "his legs are wrapped around me!" and indeed, they were wrapped around her stomach. 

KEEP IN MIND THAT WE DO NOT KNOW THIS BOY.

A few minutes later he asks her if there's room in the tube for both of them. She immediately offers to let him use it and she slips out of it and as she's getting ready to pass it to him he starts getting closer, and closer, until his head is resting on her shoulder and his arms and legs are wrapped around her. She asks, "What are you doing?" He replies, "Hugging you."

We finally get him into the tube and i am continuously dunking myself under to keep from laughing and he CONTINUES to follow us. His friend who is swimming a little ways a way then yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE SUCH A CREEP. WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH THOSE GIRLS?" He yells back, "I GUESS I'M JUST LUCKY LIKE THAT."

Freaking kid.

After a little while I ask him if it would be okay for her and I to float out into the deeper water and talk. He takes off the tube to give to her but before she can take it, he reattaches himself to her. Like a barnacle. He finally detaches and swims away and then she looks at me and says, "He touched my ass."

She later told me that the whole time she was thinking, "I'm going to jail. I'm going to jail. This kid is hugging me and I'm going to jail."

It was quite a day.

Over.