Saturday, June 29, 2013

She's Going To Jail

Today I was at work and I thought about the time when I was in like eighth grade and we went to the Durham museum and some girl got caught with vodka in her water bottle and the vice principal had to pick her up and drive her back to the school and all I could think about was how awkward that ride would have been and would she have sat in the front seat or the back seat and if she was in the back was he glaring at her through the rear view mirror and how did she get caught anyway?

I PROMISED YOU GUYS A STORY:
So... a friends of mine came out for a few days of our vacation and we (plus Sam and his friend Kyle) decided we were going to go swimming in the lake for awhile. There was a roped off section and there were a bunch of people there but not too many and we had our floaties that we had bought at the Woodbine Dollar General (AKA the 'Walmart of Woodbine') (they cost $6 but we had at least $18 worth of fun). SO WE HAD OUR FLOATIES and we were in the water, floating around and such and this little boy swims over to us. He proceeded to tell us that his name was Seth and she told him her name and he told us he was 11 and a half and she told him we were 18. He sort of looked like he was having trouble swimming so she asked him if he wanted to hold onto her tube. He did. He wrapped his arms around her neck and a moment later she mouthed, "his legs are wrapped around me!" and indeed, they were wrapped around her stomach. 
KEEP IN MIND THAT WE DO NOT KNOW THIS BOY.
A few minutes later he asks her if there's room in the tube for both of them. She immediately offers to let him use it and she slips out of it and as she's getting ready to pass it to him he starts getting closer, and closer, until his head is resting on her shoulder and his arms and legs are wrapped around her. She asks, "What are you doing?" He replies, "Hugging you."
We finally get him into the tube and i am continuously dunking myself under to keep from laughing and he CONTINUES to follow us. His friend who is swimming a little ways a way then yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE SUCH A CREEP. WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH THOSE GIRLS?" He yells back, "I GUESS I'M JUST LUCKY LIKE THAT."
Freaking kid.
After a little while I ask him if it would be okay for her and I to float out into the deeper water and talk. He takes off the tube to give to her but before she can take it, he reattaches himself to her. Like a barnacle. He finally detaches and swims away and then she looks at me and says, "He touched my ass."
She later told me that the whole time she was thinking, "I'm going to jail. I'm going to jail. This kid is hugging me and I'm going to jail."
It was quite a day.

Over.


Thursday, June 27, 2013

Tomorrow, I promise.

I'M BACK IN CIVILIZATION PEOPLE.
WIFI SURROUNDS ME AND IT IS LIKE BREATH IS BACK IN MY LUNGS I AM FREE.
I AM BACK IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING AND IT. FEELS. GOOD.

I have stories. I have a few stories. One involving this really strange eleven year old that... well you're just going to have to wait until tomorrow for that one.

Because it's almost 10 o'clock and I have an eight hour shift tomorrow and we came home to BROKEN AIR CONDITIONING. It's freaking 87 degrees in here right now. It doesn't really bother me all that much (at least not as much as my dad who is like freaking out about it) but it's still a little bit annoying. I would so not last in the pre-modern-convenience eras. Like, if I didn't have instant macaroni and cheese, I would probably lose it. Completely. And this laptop. I love this laptop. I mean, it's really old (four years old to be exact) and it doesn't hold ANY charge anymore so I have to keep it plugged in constantly, and it has the loudest freaking fan on any planet in this universe... but I love it.

Wow. I got off topic.
Vacation stories tomorrow.
I promise.

Over.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Sorry

I have absolutely nothing to say.

Except that I had to clean my room today because we're having a family reunion this weekend and my aunt and uncle will be staying in my room and this place is like...not fit for human survival. There are hair balls under my bed. Of MY hair. Okay. That's gross. You didn't need to know that.

Over.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Quotes from the Rosenau dinner table

My dad eating a HIGHLY PROCESSED Little Debbie's lemon cake thing: "I'll bet this has never been touched by human hands. I am the first to touch this. It's like I'm an astronaut." 

Dad: "Some people like baseball."
Sam: "Some people like sticking needles in their eye."
Dad: "No, Sam, they don't."

How do you spell coconut?

So Celeste has given me a kind of challenge...sort of.

She claims that if you rub coconut oil on your legs after you shave it will make the hair grow slower and finer.
I HAVE ACCEPTED THAT CHALLENGE AND NOW HAVE A JAR OF IT SUTTING ON MY BATHROOM COUNTER (compliments of Celeste's Costco bucket of the stuff). I have used it once. Updates to follow.

I'm back to watching Vampire Diaries. Which is stupid. I'm stupid. I watch stupid, dramatic things. And I'm all the way through season 6 of Grey's Anatomy and haven't updated and in really sorry and I promise I'll get on it. BUT IN THE SEASON 6 FINALE THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE HOSPITAL AND DEREK GETS SHOT AND A LOBOF PEOPLE DIE AND MEREDITH IS TRYING TO FIX OWEN WHO WAS SHOT AND SHE'S BLEEDING AND THEN SHE'S JUST LIKE, "oh yeah, I'm having a miscarriage" AND IT'S LIKE WHAT?! WHAT?! AND IT'S SUPER TRAUMATIC AND I WILL EXPLAIN MORE IN DEPTH VERY SOON. 

I hand washed a bunch if my clothes today. Dresses and really easily damaged shirts and stuff. I was going through my dresses looking at the tags for hand wash directions and realized that most of them are hand wash only and I have never hand washed anything until today which means I have dresses that I haven't washed in like, two years. And for some reason...that doesn't bother me nearly as much as it should.

The girls and I watched Princess Diaries 2. That is an awesome movie. And there should've been a third because she needed to end up with what's-his-face. Sad. Very sad.

VACATION NEXT WEEK. WITHOUT INTERNET. AND THAT'S REALLY GOING TO SUCK. Even my dad is dreading that part. Him and his smartphone. He's all tech-savvy and my mom still has a flip phone.

Over.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Random Acts of Kindness

Today Maggie and I went through the Dairy Queen drive through and went we got up there they said that someone inside had already paid for our ice cream! So sweet. So freaking sweet.

Today and the library it was SO HYPOTHERMICALLY COLD. LIKE I STILL HAVE NO IDEA HOW I SURVIVED. IT WAS TERRIFYING. MY LIFE WAS FLASHING PAST MY EYES. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE.
Moving on.

My life isn't interesting enough to have a blog. They should shut me down. The international boards of bloggers (the IBOB) should shut me down.

Hm.... What else is there.... What is there....

OH. The kids and I watched ATLANTIS today. AND IT WAS AWESOME. I forgot how awesome that movie is. Seriously, it's fantastic. It's freaking fantastic. It has everything. Mystery, romance, magicalness, myth/legends.
Highly recommended.
But Cady sat there the whole time hypothesizing who Milo was going to fall in love with and it was super distracting.

Also, Tank rang the bell with his nose today. To go outside. We're training him to ring a bell to go outside. AND HE DID IT. That's progress people.

Over.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Update

TWITTER UPDATE: I SUCK AT THIS SO MUCH. LIKE SERIOUSLY, THERE ARE TWELVE YEAR OLDS ON THIS SITE AND I'M AN EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE (as previously stated) AND I'M JUST LIKE, "Is a 'favorite' like 'liking' something? And how do you comment on things? And is someone following me? WOW. SOMEONE'S FOLLOWING ME."

Over.

Nicki_Rosie

I GOT A TWITTER. I'M AN EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE WHO JUST GOT A TWITTER. TONIGHT. And that's kind of embarrassing...

Nicki_Rosie

Such a stupid name.

I'm such a stupid person.

I'm so sorry that I'm so stupid.

Well... After that lovely dose of self-hate... Tomorrow is British day!
That means that tomorrow, at the house of the kids I babysit for, we will be using only British accents when we speak. No American allowed.

This could be interesting...

Also we're reading Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, which was written by a British person, so I will be reading it in it's natural dialect.

That is all.

Over.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Saran Wrap

On Friday we Saran wrapped Addy's legs together. Then duct taped. I think we need to go while body next week.


Over.

Nope again.

Well.... I am sort of at a loss for what to say today.
And that's kind of a rare thing for me.
So what shall I talk about?
I could talk about... Penguins? Erasers? The rapid decline of my sanity in the face of the impending doom that is my future. I mean that in the sense that I kind of have no idea what the crap I'm doing. Or supposed to be doing. Also my parents think I have an electronic addiction. My phone, my computer, the internet. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM. I SWEAR. I SWEAR I DON'T. I CAN QUIT ANYTIME I WANT.

I worked in the afternoon on Friday, and you know how it gets in the afternoon. You get hungry. And I work in a library so there isn't a ton of food around. I improvised. Whipped cream on Ritz crackers. DELICIOUS. Celeste and Wendy agreed. I'm pretty sure it's the sweet and salty combination. It just meshes. I suggest you try it.

I HAVE TO WRITE A HUNDRED GRADUATION THANK YOUS NOW. HAVE A FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC DAY.

Over.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Nope.

Today I was walking by the carnival (it comes to Blair once a year) and it was like nine in the morning and this guy working on the carousel yells, "Hey, little momma, you gonna come see us tonight?" I kind of smiled awkwardly and said, "Probably not tonight!" Then he said something else and I didn't understand him so I just smiled and kept walking.

It's these awkward, potentially life-threatening moments that remind me I'm alive.\

Over.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Pile of Dead Bodies

So. As promised.

Adventure...

I really have no adventure stories. I am about as interesting as a wet piece of paper. Plain paper. Not that fancy neon stuff.

Raisin cookies that look exactly like chocolate chip cookies are the main reasons I have trust issues.
Yesterday dad brought home cookies with dinner and half were raisin and half were chocolate chip and I picked a raisin and I am just like, "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BUY RAISIN. WHO EATS THAT."
Kind of a traumatic moment.

Mom just told me that the cabin we're going to for our vacation in two weeks doesn't have wifi. She looked me right in the eye and said, "We're roughing it." Then I started to cry. Because wifi is basically water. My mother is stranding us without WATER FOR FIVE DAYS. 
WATER. FIVE. DAYS.
I won't survive. And you guys won't get blog updates. :(

OH. A few days ago dad and I were talking about something involving peer pressure and be said, "If everyone else jumped off of a bridge would you?" And I replied, completely straight-faced, "Yes, because there would a pile of dead bodies at the bottom to land on." He paused, then said, "What if was an indefinite free fall?" I then said, "It wouldn't matter because I would be falling forever." 

I'm his favorite kid.

Over.

Apology

I haven't blogged. And I feel bad. TONIGHT'S WILL BE EPIC. SUPER EPIC AND ADVENTUROUS. I promise.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Scattered showers

So I got this new iPhone a week ago. Part of me is resigned to the fact that now I'm just another white girl with an iPhone, but oh well. At least I waited! I waited until I graduated high school. Which means absolutely nothing, but anyway.

So I have this device that's 85% glass and 15% metal and took billions of dollars of innovation and the worlds most brilliant minds working for years and years and what am I using it for?

I check the weather at least twice an hour. 

Seriously. The weather is my favorite thing ever. I have 4 weather apps.

I am such a freak.

Also I ripped my jesns at work today. 
I felt so weird.
It was at this awkward place on my inner thigh and I told Dusk and she just whispered, "Slut!" and then laughed and walked away.
(Random story. Weird story.)

Oop. It's time. Gotta check the weather.
Scattered showers predicted.

Over.