Wednesday, December 24, 2014


I'm Christmas blogging. (For Dave)

So it's Christmas Eve and all of the children are back in the Rosenau household:

(the band's back together again)

They've only tried to beat me up twice.

So we went to Christmas Eve church and came back and had our Christmas Eve chili, etc.
Mom looks up at all of us and says: "While we were at church, Santa came."
Big brother: "And robbed us."

Turns out Santa chucked everything down the chimney early and all of the presents were all mixed up.
She brought us the large box full of wrapped up gifts (there were probably about 30 of them, various shapes and sizes)
Dad then produces this:

(he let me in on the secret that Santa got it for 9 dollars at target)

and tells us that we are going to bingo for the gifts.

Apparently the rule book that Santa left with the presents stipulated that this was a white elephant bingo, with the option of stealing.
Older brother and I immediately yelled, "YANKEE SWAP" and began obnoxiously quoting that episode of The Office. (I live my life through The Office quotes and parallels. I don't know anything else and I don't WANT to know anything else.)

We are each issued two bingo cards and a bunch of chips and the game began.
(Basically the point was that when you got a bingo you got to pick a new gift or steal, just like white elephant or YANKEE SWAP. "I thought that was called nasty christmas?")

Let me just make it clear that I COMPLETELY DOMINATED. (As much as you can dominate at bingo.

Funny thing was, Santa was oddly specific in his gifts.
I chose a bow tie and pocket square (quickly stolen by little brother) and little brother opened a pair of Gryffindor socks accompanied by a tire pressure gauge, obviously intended for me.
There was a teddy bear.
(Exhibit A: the teddy bear)

I didn't think anything of it until little brother looks at it and suddenly says, "OH. I KNOW WHERE THAT CAME FROM."
Turns out 'Santa' had taken said bear from somewhere within our very house.
Then, little brother looks at me and says, "That bear was given to me by ****** ****** for my birthday when I was thirteen." (name redacted). ****** ****** was little brother's girlfriend from seventh grade to freshman year. AND SANTA STOLE, WRAPPED, AND REGIFTED HER TEDDY BEAR GIFT.
Strangely enough, little brother didn't want it back and now I really don't know what to do with it.

I also got a pretty sweet screwdriver set. And more socks.

Anyway, that was our Christmas Eve.


Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Will the five armies please kill me?

It's one am, but I just saw the third hobbit and oh my gosh guys or I have to say something or my head might explode.

I am in physical pain.

Tolkien is spinning in his grave.

If I had the choice between giving birth and watching this movie then I would have to say that birth may actually be less painful and take less time.

(Remember, I'm saying all of this as a person who actually read the book)

Cousin Carol and I went together and we both sat there just crying at the inaccuracy. It's even worse than the first two.

Send help.

I'm dying. 


Tuesday, December 16, 2014


Okay, so I'm studying in the library for a final I have on Friday and THERE ARE HIGH SCHOOLERS EVERYWHERE.
They're so easy to spot. Like a whale in the Serengeti.

1. They travel in packs of at least three
2. The boys are all in khakis, Niki socks, and sperrys (also their shirts are usually tucked in which is weird)
3. The girls are either wearing leggings or plaid skirts (DEAD PRIVATE HIGH SCHOOL GIVEAWAY)
4. All of the above are carrying Starbucks
5. They shoot these weird covert glances around like they feel like they shouldn't be here yet they think they're so cool that they are
6. They walk upright, as if their spirits have not been crushed (this is probably the most notable because the rest of us haven't slept in two days and no longer care whether we live or die)
7. ITS LIKE THEYRE TRYING TO LOOK GOOD AND THATS JUST WRONG (my sweater is covered in Krispy Kreme crumbs and my friend next to me actually slept on the floor under the table for a few minutes)
8. I cannot stress enough that they walk as if the world still makes sense to them

In summation: get out of my library you Starbucks carrying yuppie children and take your happiness and sense of superiority with you.


UPDATE: They all bought 'Monsters' from the cafe. No one has consumed a Monster since 2010.

UPDATE: They're taking over the cafe area. They've multiplies from 2 to 3 tables. Soon they will have conquered the entire eastern side. I fear I will never see my family again.
It's like a young adult dystopian novel.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Thoughts of finals week:

It's totally okay to cry a little bit. Or a lot. Everybody cries. In fact, I heard my roommate crying through the wall just last night! Wait. Nope. That was still me.

Deal with it

Okay, so I know I made sort of a promise that I would update more.. and I haven't...
I'm taking a brief study break to type this for you now, SO BE GRATEFUL.

Okay... what to say...
I actually have some good stories saved up for all of you, but you probably won't get them until Christmas break because I don't have time for that right now.
So be ready...
Okay. This is all I have time for.
Sorry about the hiatus.
Deal with it.


Sunday, November 9, 2014

RE: My father and the third world

Okay, so apparently dad is a little bit mad that I made him out to be so uptight... so this is my apology/redaction of the cheerio/comfort zone comment. In all reality he did very well in the third world. He even shared his granola bars and made some friends. I'm very proud of him.
Love you dad!


(This is why people don't share their blog addresses with their parents.) (Mom, please don't be offended by that.)

book rant update

Just a small note for some of you: I'm sort of back to actually writing book rants. A shocking number of college students DON'T READ, which disappoints me greatly. This means that I must resort to yelling my opinions on the internet like every other young person in America. But yeah. I'mma be doing that.

I suck at titles


My parents are back. I went home for lunch to see them today and I was met at the door by my father announcing, "HOLA, MI HIJA."
But he was excited to see me, so that always makes me feel happy.

So, Events of a notable nature:
The nonprofit organization that I work for had its big fundraising luncheon last Wednesday, and wow. Let. Me. Tell you. The nonprofit fundraising circuit IS QUITE A PLACE. SO MANY RICH PEOPLE. WOOOOAAAAH. I met the governor elect THE DAY AFTER he was elected. I felt pretty cool. It was at the new Hilton hotel, the really nice one. We had a hospitality room for the staff to put our stuff and no, I did not have two complimentary danishes.

I had three.

I also consumed two Diet Cokes and put another in my purse for the ride home.

After the event I got to take home NINE PIECES of really good cake afterward.

The hotel even allows dogs! At one point while I was in the lobby waiting for our keynote speaker (who we flew in on a private jet that morning) I saw this relatively young couple with four dogs between them wandering around the lobby and I am now very interested with learning how I can become a part of a young, independently wealthy couple who can hang out in really expensive hotels with our four dogs.

Basically I've decided that I want to marry very rich.
I told my boss this and she told me just keep going to events like that.


Monday, November 3, 2014

My father and the third world

Okay, so my parents are currently in Nicaragua.
They're on a couple's mission trip through our church and are staying down there for a week. My dad has been freaking out about it because his comfort zone is about the size of the inside of a cheerio.

So I have to housesit all week because even though little brother is 16, dad is freaking out about him being home alone, simply for the sake of freaking out. So I'm commuting. Luckily, they have a lot of food at the house so it's a good incentive. I do a lot of housesitting as it is, so when I asked mom if she was going to pay me my usual rate, she just said, "We pay your tuition. Get over it." Thanks mom.

I went home Friday night to get the lay of the land, you know, any last minute instructions, listen to dad rant about how he's going to contract some disease or that he's never flown over open water before, etc. (I refrained from pointing out that it's not like the plane knows that you're flying over water or land and will choose to crash accordingly.) As all of this was happening I noticed a gallon ziplock bag absolutely stuffed with granola bars sitting on his desk. Four boxes, he told me. When I asked him about it he said, AND I QUOTE, "If necessary, I can sustain 500 calories a day on just granola bars." He seems to think that they won't feed him down there. He told me that he was going to fall face down into a Big Mac when they got back, then he thought for a second and said, "And I don't even LIKE Big Macs." (Apparently we're also having steak next Saturday because it's hard for him to go a whole week without steak.)

(Part of me was a little afraid that they were going to get to Atlanta and he was going to hide in a bathroom until the flight left and then hop one back to Nebraska.) But he did make it onto the plane (he sent me "bye bye" as he boarded) and I was expecting that to be the last of the communication from them for a week. Then, a few hours later, I get a text message from him that says: We are here
I immediately reply: And you have cell service? He shoots back: Yes it is very expensive so you text grandma. Husker score?
Those are where my father's priorities lie.
He ended the conversation with: Goodnight. America is great. Third world not so much.
Yesterday I got one that just said: Greetings from the third world.

I can't even handle it.


Tuesday, October 28, 2014


I have regressed I to treating myself like a toddler, using sleep as the ultimate motivator. I make deals with myself. Like, if I read ten pages of my psych textbook, I earn myself 10 minutes of napping. Bigger assignments equal longer amounts. An online quiz is 20 minutes and a four page paper is worth an hour. (Getting to all of my classes for the day is 20 minutes all by itself.) An hour of piano practice is 30 minutes and resisting the urge to scream out loud during Short Story varies depending on how stupid the class was on any given day.

I think it's a pretty brilliant system.


Saturday, October 25, 2014

I am like a bored housewife talking about the weather and holiday decorations.

It's been a week... so I have to post. I'm trying to keep to a weekly schedule at the very least. And I know that it's been a week because I'm watching Husker football again.

Would it be lame if I talked about the weather? Too late.
I HATE THIS WEATHER. IT WAS 80 DEGREES YESTERDAY AND NOVEMBER STARTS IN LESS THAN A WEEK. My closet is full of sweaters and leggings and cute hats that I can't wear because I'll drown in my own sweat! Everyone's talking about how beautiful it is and how they never want winter to arrive and all I'm thinking is, 'IF YOU DON'T WANT WINTER THEN MOVE TO FLORIDA'. I want to bake and eat chili and WEAR HATS. I JUST WANT TO WEAR MY CUTE HATS. My roommate and I have had many long discussions about this. Every time it dips below 60 we come bursting out of our rooms yelling, 'Sweater weather!'

Our dorm is currently strung with Christmas lights (because there are no rules against Christmas lights in a college dorm. It's not tacky to keep them up year round. It's whimsical) and a ton of plastic pumpkins and fake leaves. (One of the roommates went a little nuts at Hobby Lobby.) BUT in our storage closet we have SO MUCH CHRISTMAS STUFF THAT I'M SO EXCITED TO PUT UP. We have a fake fireplace made of rather large pieces of construction paper, (it sounds lame but I promise it's not) and we have tissue paper flames with it (TOUCHDOWN HUSKERS) and stockings with all of our names and I WANT TO PUT IT UP SO BAD. I want to get out the Charlie Brown Christmas tree and put it on our little table. I've already started buying Christmas presents. I have two of them in my bottom desk drawer.

I am so boring.


Saturday, October 18, 2014


So, it's fall break and I'm sort of home for the weekend. I had to stop at Wal-mart on the way in because I owed little brother a pint of Ben & Jerry's because he's extremely stubborn and won't let anything go, and while I was at said Wal-mart I ran into one of my library moms who told me that apparently there are some people out there who are angry with me because I haven't been posting...
To be honest, the main reason behind that is because I'm sort of boring a lot of the time and if I don't find myself interesting then how can I expect you guys to?
But, here we go. I'll attempt to be funny for your sakes.

Anyway, tonight you guys are getting some football.
Just a brief background for you: I come from a household where if there is football on, our TV is on. It doesn't matter who's playing; college, NFL, some obscure Alaskan team that no one's ever heard of - we're watching it. It's how I was raised.
Husker football is less of a hobby and more of a religion in Nebraska
We are crazy.
We're a fiercely dedicated yet temperamental legion of fans. Our severe loyalty and passion makes us rather dangerous because it means the mood of the entire state from September to January depends on what a bunch of college kids do for three hours every week. (We're playing Northwestern right at this very minute and by the way this first quarter is starting it looks like this is going to be a bad week.)
Some questions I have regarding tonight's game: Is Tommy going to attempt a short passing game? Is Kenny going to go out before half yet again because of his mysterious groin injury? Will Westerkamp successfully catch a pass between his legs without looking? Will Cotton be able to remain upright?

I'm considering making a little tab section thingy just for sports musings.... hm...

Well, that's all you get for now.
I'll try really hard to be better at updating. (If only for Dave's sake.)



I don't take selfies. I take delfies. Dog selfies. I took at least 60 pictures with Tank today (and deleted at least 48 of them) but here are a few front runners.

(This is us midway through our run. He's a very bad dog to go running with. I almost died with the leash tangled around my legs.)
(Not very clear but he was leaning back to give me a kiss so I really like this one.)

Monday, August 25, 2014


I have completed my first day of sophomore year.

I know I was supposed to post about the fish funeral. And that DID happen. And it WAS AWESOME. But stuff got busy and it's on the roster to post it and yes it will happen. Eventually. That's kind of my life motto. Eventually.


I started the day by locking myself out of my dorm.
Yes, I know. How very freshman of me. Get over it.

The other night we were all down on the first floor in the RA's dorm (by 'we' I mean the whole building) and we were in there like a half hour and after a while we finally started to filter back upstairs and we were talking and hanging out and then suddenly someone asks, "Does anyone spell natural gas?" but we didn't really think much of it until we continued to move upstairs and then one of the guys on the 3rd floor was like, "Hey, come smell this!" and some of us went up to his room AND THEIR HEATER/RADIATOR/THING-IN-THEIR-CLOSET-THAT-DOES-THAT-STUFF WAS TOTALLY LEAKING AND OUR WHOLE BUILDING WAS BEING FILLED WITH GAS. It was super exciting and some of us may or may not have been slowly and inadvertently been getting high for quite some time.
But (mom, this part is for you) everything turned out okay, and maintenance came and fixed it and checked everyone else's radiator things and we're all fine. But it was a very dramatic several hours.


Saturday, August 2, 2014


I bought a lighter and an eight dollar baby pool yesterday. Yay for end of the summer sales. They save me a lot on funeral costs.


Friday, August 1, 2014

Missing Update

Well.... The funeral is set for Sunday at dusk (probably 10ish because that's when Carol's boyfriend gets off work). I'm currently working on my eulogy. I'll be sure to post it, although my mother wants a video of the whole funeral so maybe you'll end up getting that. Today's mission is to find a kiddie pool. Hypothetical they should either be really cheap right now, or non-existent as Walmart is crushed in the onslaught of school supplies.

More to follow.


Wednesday, July 30, 2014


If you have not read the first installment in the 'MISSING' series, please scroll down and read that first.

Have I got a story for you.

So, the fish. When I left off, it was about 6pm on Wednesday, July 30th (which is still today) and we had no idea where our fish was. Well, we found him.

Carol was getting antsy, freaking out about where her fish could possibly be, asking me if I was in on some kind of practical joke (I wish I was in on it. I wish someone would bring me in on a practical joke involving kidnapping a fish.) Finally, she just started getting desperate, looking through all of the rooms, checking the bathrooms, the toilets, the trashcans. Then she started crawling across the ground, running her hands under all of the furniture, the chairs, the tables, the couch- "AH. I FOUND HIM. I FOUND HIM. I FOUND HIM." She just sort of collapsed on the floor looking so freaking disgusted, staring at the couch and we were both screaming and she scooped him up out from under the couch with a lid and dumped him back in his bowl AND HE STARTED LIKE, SEIZING AND SWIMMING AND WE WERE FREAKING OUT BECAUSE HE SHOULD NOT BE ALIVE HE WAS UNDER THAT COUCH FOR AT LEAST TWO HOURS. And he was all covered in lint and hair (because we don't vacuum very often) and he was SUFFOCATING but we couldn't do anything because he's A FISH and after a little bit we just sort of sat back and let him lay there because he had to be exhausted after somehow JUMPING OUT OF HIS BOWL AND FLOPPING THREE FEET UNDER THE COUCH and we were watching TV, hyperventilating because let's be honest, we are freaking out. After a little while of him lying at the bottom of the bowl we decided to poke him with a pencil and I was only six inches from the bowl and she touched him AND HE LEAPED UP INTO THE AIR AT MY FREAKING FACE AND WE'RE BOTH SCREAMING and falling onto the floor BECAUSE THIS FISH SHOULD BE DEAD. He's living up to his name. Hades. Lord of the dead.

We spent the next hour poking him every few hours to make sure he was alive.

Then... suddenly he wasn't alive.

We called time of death at 8:23pm.

I have since planned a traditional Viking funeral. We plan to send him off on Sunday at dusk.
For those of you who don't know what a traditional Viking funeral involves, we will be putting him in the beautiful boat pictured below, placing him in a water vessel of some kind, and lighting him on fire. (We're leaning towards a kiddie pool. We have limited resources.)

This took me an hour to make and I actually kind of don't want to set it on fire.

Here is his current resting place on our windowsill. (We need to dry him out enough for him to catch flame.)

Details of the service to follow.


So, Roommate/cousin Carol and I have this fish. His name is Hades. He's technically Carol's fish, she brought him when we moved in, but I've been the one taking care of him so it's like he's also mine. He's rather amazing because none of her fish have ever lasted longer than a year (we know this because she keeps all of the receipts and then writes the death date on them. It's a rather morbid collage.) Hades however, is living up to his name, avoiding death at all costs! But tonight.... Some stuff went down.

Carol is moving out tomorrow to become an RA on south campus and we will no longer be living together (tear, tear) and tonight we're having like, a last hoorah, watching High School Musical and such. Today, while I was at work, she cleaned the fishbowl and left Hades in a small plastic bowl on the table. I then picked her up and we went to get food. When we got back... Hades was gone. His bowl was there and the food she had put in was still floating on top. But the fish was gone. We have since talked to both roommates. Neither claim to know anything. We... Are confounded. We're taking this as sort of sign about the ending of our relationship as roommates. Very prophetic and slightly creepy on our last night together.

The flyer shall read:


Wednesday, July 23, 2014


Guys... I'm so lame. So boring. I have nothing to say because I am lame right now. I'm so sorry.

OH WAIT. One thing did happen.
I lit a good chunk of my hair on fire ligjting bottle rockets and now I have to pin this weirdly short section of hair up every morning because it won't stay in my freaking ponytail. So that happened.

Um... School is starting in almost exactly a month, which I'm okay with. I might get to actually see my friends again.

Also, I OFFICIALLY HAVE A SCHOOL YEAR JOB! The non-profit organization I've been interning with this summer just asked me to stay on during he school year. I'M SO EXCITED. Everyone is so nice and the job is great and I won't have to go get a new job and relearn where everything is. So I'm very happy about that.

I will be moving soon. It will be quite a drastic change. Nearly 1000 feet away from my previous dorm location AND ON THE SECOND FLOOR. I'll have to take stairs everyday. Ew.


Sunday, June 29, 2014


I've been getting some hate messages all directed at forcing me to post and I'm very sensitive so I'm going to write something if only to MAKE THE ASKING STOP. (cracks knuckles).

Okay, so it's summertime, and I don't have class, and I work a full time office job.
Just a warning, those factors add up to me not having a ton of interesting or exciting stories. I'm sort of lame right now. Like really lame. I sleep A LOT. But I'll try.

I will try as hard as I can to post nearer to the day, because fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays. It's the one day a year when I'm guaranteed explosives and homemade lemon ice cream. It's always been a big deal for my family. Dad always buys way more fireworks than we can actually light in one night (so we usually have this random stash of bottle rockets in the garage) and we all put on clothing that we don't mind having burn holes in and start lighting things on fire! My favorite is roman candle wars, in which we just sort of aim roman candles at each other and starting shooting. But we're not allowed to play in the cornfield anymore because a few years ago we lit one of the stalks on fire and the whole thing almost went up. Now we have to play it in open fields, which isn't as much fun because there's no stealth involved. But anyway.

Fourth of July just makes everything feel so American, you know what I mean? Like, we're all wearing our American flag t-shirts, and all of the huge fireworks tents are all over town and people go on trips to see relatives and it's just so AMERICAN.
I bet if they took a pole Fourth of July and the Olympics would tie for the times when Americans feel the most patriotic. We are all just total suckers for explosives and curling.


Saturday, June 7, 2014

Cady is pressuring me

My life is just sort of a monotone of the same events everyday.
I go to my big girl job. I go home. I hang out with people. Etc.
I guess... I've been doing a lot of house-sitting. WHICH IS THE GREATEST GIG EVER.
I'm getting paid to hang out with other people's pets. It's like, a dream. I'm currently sitting for an aunt and uncle in Omaha and they have a really beautiful black lab called Boo Radley and he's just hanging out with me on the couch with his head on my legs. IT'S LIKE DREAM.

Okay, here's something.
So as it turns out there's this castle in Austria named "Rosenau Castle". Which is my name. So personally, I think my family and I should just head over there and DEMAND OUR CASTLE BACK. It's like when we were in first grade and you'd say "that's my seat" and the other kid would say "does it have your name on it?" and this time I can say YES. YES IT DOES HAVE MY NAME ON IT. THAT IS MY CASTLE.

So if any of you have any experience in that sort of thing, let me know.


Tuesday, June 3, 2014

I've been shamed

It has been brought to my attention that I haven't posted in almost a month....
But I have a big girl job now, and contrary to popular belief, being an adult is real actually pretty boring. I have no good stories! I mean, I have some, because I'm me and I'm just so funny. 
But yes, I am hard at work at my big girl office job, wearing pencil skirts and cardigans. (I'm actually currently on my lunch break so this is going to have to be short) BUT I PROMISE THAT BY THE END OF THIS WEEK YOU WILL HAVE A REAL BLOG POST. I APOLOGIZE FOR MY ABSENCE OH LOYAL FANS. 


Friday, May 9, 2014


That is all. I really just want to go to sleep now.


Wednesday, May 7, 2014


So we had a big thunderstorm tonight and I spent most of it outside running around in the rain. I know that in most states people generally go in the basement or something when funnel clouds start forming BUT NOT IN NEBRASKA. I have honestly never seen as many people out on campus as I did tonight. There were a lot of people on their balconies. BUT THAT IS NOT ENOIGH FOR ME. I insisted on running around in it and soon people started joining me and out of nowhere I had somehow formed a cult group of storm watchers. We were running and dancing and sliding through this really muddy patch of grass (housing is going to be really pissed about that in the morning) and there were a lot of people watching us (the guys would come out for a few minutes and then go inside because they got cold.) (Wimps.) I knew like none of the people but It was so awesome and I got so dirty and my shower is rather disgusting actually.
I did get kind of a nasty cut on my back.
But it was awesome. Most fun I've had in awhile.


Freshman year....

It's so close I can almost taste it.
I'm not actually sure what I'm tasting, but that's a phrase that people use so I'm using it now.
But I still have that one test so now I'm going back to studying.


Tuesday, April 29, 2014

dead week...

It's the Tuesday of dead week.
For those of you who are not familiar with the American collegiate system, I'll give you a rundown. I'm going to a school that works on the semester system, so I have two separate terms of school. And at the end of every semester we have finals week, in which (obviously) we take all of our finals. But the week before finals week is what we call 'dead week'. It's SUPPOSED TO BE because campus is dead and everyone is studying and the teachers don't assign very much (some of them even cancel class) and we're just buried under textbooks in preparation for a week of tests.
That's all I have time for because I have so much studying to do.
I hate college.


Thursday, April 24, 2014


I'm so excited. You have no idea. I got the job through a cousin of mine who works there and I just sent off my resume and they gave me an interview and then they gave me the job!
AAHHH!! I'm going to be the best office assistant any of them has ever seen. I'm going to kick butt.
I sort of feel like an adult. Which is weird. This morning I enrolled for classes next fall, and then this summer I start my big girl job in an office with fancy clothes (I need to go shopping for some of those...) and I FEEL LIKE A REAL LIVE ADULT AND IT'S SO WEIRD.
I'm not sure if I like it yet.
But, yeah! That's my big news. Big girl job. As soon as I got out of the interview and they told me I had it I called my parents and my grandparents and texted people and was generally kind of obnoxious about it BUT I DON'T CARE. I FEEL MILDLY SELF SUFFICIENT. (Mom, if you're reading this, that doesn't mean I don't need you or the money that you provide to put me through college. I LOVE YOU MOMMY.)
So that's all I got. I'm just very excited.


Thursday, April 17, 2014

Adult Easter

My father has informed me that we will not be having an Easter egg hunt this year. This is the first year in the history of my life that I will not be getting an Easter egg hunt. I was in hysterics when he told me.

He said it's because we were really mean.
For the last few years we haven't had "traditional" candy hunts. Instead, he would buy us each a big present (I usually got a new Coach purse) and then would hide clues in eggs and we would have to find our big present at the end. BUT THE CLUES WERE SO HARD. IT WOULD TAKE HOURS. And then big brother and I would get really frustrated and start being really mean because WE COULDN'T FIND OUR THING and dad says that he doesn't want to have to go through that kind of emotional abuse again.
I'm so sad.
But he was such a good hider! They were really hard clues and I'm a very competitive person and I wanted to beat the boys and after three hours of searching and trying to decipher some REALLY difficult/vague clues you would probably get abusive too!

So no Easter egg hunt. I know I'm a freshman in college but I still want a hunt.

Also, it sucks when you can start to buy your own Easter candy at the store because it's like the magic is gone. It used to be that I wouldn't be able to have a cadbury creame egg until Easter Sunday when I found it in the hunt. But now I can just drive to Walmart and buy 15 of them. The magic is done. Being an adult sucks.


Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Kernels of Philosophy

I have a very deep, philosophical question that I would like to pose for you tonight.

Is it better to have a small amount of unburnt popcorn, or a large amount of burnt popcorn?

I ask this because tonight, I decided to pop a bag of kettle corn. Just a bit of background: I love kettle corn. It is my favorite. I know so many people who hate kettle corn and will always only eat that mediocre buttery stuff. So anyway, I was popping it and such and listening for the length between pops, because that's how my mother taught me how to judge when it's done and then it got to the point where pops were still happening, but they were getting further apart, but then I was getting worried about if the rest of it was going to burn, but what if it wasn't burnt and I pulled it out early and only had half a bag or popcorn? Because everybody knows that you can't put popcorn back in the microwave, because that just doesn't work.
This is a very serious issue that I am worrying about.


Monday, April 7, 2014

should I really post this?

So two friends and I went shopping this evening (Plato's Closet) and it was very fun. WHICH IS SO WEIRD BECAUSE I ACTUALLY HATE SHOPPING. Like, I hate it. Seriously. It's exhausting, and it takes forever, and I feel fat in everything I try on. But that last bit is probably just because I live in America and in America most girl feel fat in everything. Which sucks. But anyway, we went, and we even had that stereotypical changing room montage where we all come out in our outfits that we try on and it's like we're in a nineties chick flick. And I found these really jeans and when we getting ready to go and I was talking about them and the guy who ran the changing rooms was like, "The Levis? You gettin' the Levis?" And I had to dig through everything to find them and confirm that yes, they were the Levis, and then he said, "Good, cause those were a good choice. Those looked niiice." And he pulled the word nice out really long in a funny way. But I felt very affirmed. And I told him so. I said, "Thank you for that lovely positive affirmation." And he smiled at me. It was a very nice trip. I got some really cute, versatile tops that will be lovely for these upcoming summer months. If summer ever actually shows up. It appears that there is no real guarantee.

I cannot believe I just did a blog post about shopping. How completely white-girl of me. And it is slightly disgusting. Please forgive me. This will not happen again.


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Note to the World

If you intend to drive through or around a college campus, be wary. College students have no sense of self-preservation when it comes to cars and will walk right out in front of a massive semi-truck without a second glance, forcing said truck to slam on the breaks, lest be responsible for creating a college-student size splat on the concrete.
Our thought process is along the lines of, "Hey. Go ahead and hit me. Go ahead and pay for my tuition. I dare you."
You've been warned.


Thursday, March 20, 2014


I have this super awkward pain in my back, way up high right between my shoulder blades.
My friend Katie is making fun of me because when I move certain ways I let out this sad little squeak of pain. I'm so pathetic.
I asked her if maybe I have a spinal tumor and she just looked at me and said, "no".

She's going to be really sorry if I do.


Wednesday, March 19, 2014


So I'm taking this 'Critical Approaches to Literature' class.
It's basically the weirdest thing ever on this earth. It's all about the 'theory' behind literature and we have these discussions in which we're supposed to analyze, but they always end up going way to far and I always end up sitting there thinking, no, the author didn't mean that. Too far! Back up!
But anyway, we have to watch a lot of movies for this class. We had to watch Fight Club, and Rear Window, and the Truman Show. Currently a friend from class (Katie, she's the bomb. And she brought snacks) is watching a silent film called 'Metropolis' with me. It was released in 1927 and it's black and white and SO TOTALLY MESSED UP. We have no idea what's going on. Plus all of the little word interludes are in German so that makes us even more confused. Luckily, she spent most of her life oversees in German speaking countries like Austria and Serbia and she's still taking German in college so we sort of have some sort of idea as to what's going on. IT'S SO WEIRD. It's kind of like a dystopian society with a huge disconnect between the elite and the working class and this dude just witnessed a huge factory explosion and then he hallucinated all of these workers being sacrificed to the machine god (or at least that's what we called it) and of course he fell in love with this working class girl, but he's super rich and his father is like the leader of the world and it's basically AMAZING that we're understanding any of this because it is so weird and so confusing and the men wore so much make up. Also the main dude has these awesome poofy short pants and his tie is tucked into his belt and they just have fantastic facial expressions.

I've decided that silent films are my calling. Just watching them. Watching silents films is my calling in life.

Except the only problem is that I can't multitask because I actually have to be watching at all times. I'm a big multitasker. Hence why I'm blogging as I watch.

The German subtitle things scroll by really fast and Katie isn't fluent.


Thursday, March 13, 2014


So yesterday I had to go get a blood test. Nothing super special, just a routine blood draw at the campus health center. I was totally fine with it. I give blood all the time. Needles don't scare me.
So they drew my blood and stuff, and I was fine, just sitting in my chair talking to the nurses.
Then, after she's all done and is putting everything away I start feeling really weird and light-headed.

I woke up on the floor surrounded by four nurses.

I don't actually remember what I dreamed about, but I know I dreamed.
And then when I finally came to, I like, freaked out. I didn't know where I was, or what was going, or who these people were and why there were wet paper towels on my forehead and neck and it was terrifying. Finally I was okay and I remembered where I was, and they let me sit up again. They gave me animal crackers! They made me sit in there for 15 more minutes, even though I felt perfectly fine after that.
That was a very anticlimactic ending.
Sorry about that.

It was a very exciting morning.


Monday, March 10, 2014


Hello, world.

Whenever I open up a new blog window I'm never actually sure what I'm going to say. I never plan. Which is dumb because then as soon as I start typing, every single funny story COMPLETELY LEAVES MY BRAIN.
Like, throughout the week stuff will happen and I'll always say, "I am SO going to blog that." AND THEN I NEVER DO AND I FORGET AND I REALLY NEED TO WRITE THINGS DOWN.

Hm... I've been reading a lot. Like, A LOT a lot. It's not necessarily a good thing.


This is a sucky blog post. I'm going to start writing the funny things down.



Thursday, February 27, 2014

This Dorm is on Firrrreeee...


So yesterday one of the dorm buildings at my college caught fire and it was on the news and stuff. Big deal. I got several texts asking if I myself was on fire and then a phone call from my father. The first thing he said was "Are you on fire?" No hi, or hello, just 'are you on fire'. I quickly assured that I'm not. AND I'M NOT ASSURING ALL OF YOU. I'M FINE. ALL OF MY STUFF IS FINE.
Celeste texted and said there were a lot of worried librarians. I was like, "AW!" My library moms were worried. So sweet.

I had a burned Nutragrain bar today. I opened the package and was like, dang. Super burned. If that Nutragrain bar was any indication of how my day is going to turn out... I'm in trouble.


Tuesday, February 25, 2014


Like, the TV show.
Cousin Carol is OBSESSED with this show, and thus it has become a fixture in our dorm every Monday and Tuesday night.
For those of you who don't know what The Voice is, it's a TV show on NBC that sort of follows in the tradition of American Idol in the way that people audition and make it through different rounds until there's only one left. The difference is, the four celebrity judges pick people to put on their teams and then they're competing as well (for bragging rights). It's pretty good.
But Carol and I make it super awesome by HAVING A COMPETITION OF OUR OWN. We watch the blind auditions (which is the part at the beginning of the season where they select their teams) and we pick team of our own. Then we get to root for them throughout the whole show and have our own bragging rights if we win! I TOTALLY KICKED HER BUTT LAST SEASON. MY PEOPLE TOOK 1ST AND 2ND AND NONE OF HER ORIGINAL PICKS EVEN MADE IT TO THE TOP 5.
We've begun selecting for the current season. I'm feeling good about my current picks.
I'm going to destroy her.
I think I'm addicted to competing over stupid things that don't actually require any effort.


Thursday, February 20, 2014


So we have this Canadian friend. He's from Canada, but he's lived in the U.S. for most of his life, yet he still is very patriotic to his birth land. We're currently watching the women's hockey final with him. He calls them "his girls" and knows all of their names and what they're good at and it would be kind of adorable if I didn't want the Canadians to lose so spectacularly. I WANT TO RUB IT IN HIS FACE SO BADLY. We've already been making fun of him for the ice dancing situation. I JUST WANT US TO WIN AND THEREBY DESTROY HIS HOPES AND DREAMS. Although apparently the U.S. is his second favorite country and if there's no Canada option he roots for us.

The Olympics create such an interesting dynamic. For two weeks the levels of patriotism SKYROCKET. For these two weeks we are united. We are so proud of ourselves and our number of medals and rubbing it in every other country's face. And then we go back to complaining about our government and hating Congress, etc. etc. But for two weeks AMERICA IS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. Though I find it interesting that we are currently leading in number of medals, but not gold medals. We're quantity over quality. Which is sort of the definition of the United States.

But for now,



Friday, February 14, 2014

February 14

Valentine's day. I spent it in a high school with a bunch of teenagers, crushing their dreams. Very romantic.


Tuesday, February 11, 2014


School is really busy right now. I'm basically either in class, doing homework, or sleeping. I'm actually half asleep right now, to be honest. So if this post is a little bit weird and completely unorganized, that's because I'm basically asleep.

I'M JUDGING SO MANY SPEECH MEETS. But I like money so that's okay.

I honestly have no idea what to type right now. I'm so tired. I'm going to nap. When I wake up maybe you'll get a real blog post. Maybe.


Thursday, January 30, 2014



So I'm sitting in the lounge at ASH, with another hour and half before my next class, but there's no way I'm going back to the dorm because it's all the way across campus and I'm lazy and it's so not worth it. So I just hang out here and pretend to do homework while really I don't do homework.

I'm going home this weekend! I want to watch the Superbowl with the fam. And I miss my dog. I was originally going to go home on Thursday night but then I got called up to judge a speech meet at Millard West. Now my dad is guilting my with my dog. He keeps saying that Tank is expecting me on Thursday and that he's very emotional. He even sent me a picture in which Tank actually looks disappointed. (My dad managed to make a puppy look disappointed. I don't know how he did that.)

I HAVE SO MANY BOOKS I NEED TO REVIEW. My kindle was a great investment. Well, my parents bought it. But it was a great investment in ink to write on my Christmas list so that they would know to buy it. I've been reading SO MUCH. It's fabulous. And I have lot's of books to ruin for you. I'm terrible with spoilers. I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW EVERYTHING SO THEY CAN BE AS HORRIFIED AND EXCITED AS I AM.

URG. My life isn't interesting! Or maybe it is and I'm actually a secret spy doing missions for the government but I'm not allowed to tell you that so instead I just pretend I'm an average college girl while really I'm currently in Europe trying to stop a diamond heist....


Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The essence of power

I just got out of my debate class.
And oh. my. goodness.
One of the groups did their debate on who was the better actress in 'American Hustle'. (Amy Adams or Jennifer Lawrence) And it was the funniest thing I have seen all week.
My favorite line was probably "trying to squeeze the last bit out of her toothpaste tube of talent" (describing Amy Adams). It's probably not funny to you guys, but just know that it was the weirdest, most hilarious debate I have ever seen. If the presidential debates were more like that one then maybe people would actually show an interest in politics.

That was actually really fun. I HAD SO MUCH POWER. THEY WERE AT MY MERCY. I WAS THE SCARIEST PERSON IN THE ROOM as opposed to being the most scared person in the room.
THEY EVEN HAD TO ASK MY PERMISSION TO LEAVE. They had to say, "may I be excused?" And I had the choice to say NO! I never did of course, because there was no reason to make them stay, BUT I STILL HAD THE OPTION.
The power trip definitely went to my head. I even got to judge finals at one of them and that was really cool. I may or may not be judging again this Friday, depending on if they need me. My ego is continuously inflated every round I judge. Every kid that waits for me to start the stopwatch. Every request to leave the room. Every offer to go and get me another score sheet because I wasn't given enough.
I wonder if this is what God feels like.


Thursday, January 23, 2014

I've got nothing

So, crazy development, I kind of have a social life! And that leads to me not posting. But I'm trying to fix that. I promise. And by fix that, I mean I'll post more.  And if that doesn't work, I'll have to destroy the social life that I have spent the last six months cultivating.
This weekend should be a little crazy because I'm judging two speech meets, one in Fremont, and one in Columbus. Cousin Carol and I are going together. It's going to be fun! This time I get to be the judge they're all scared of and I have all-powerful stopwatch and the score sheets which could make or break their future! They will be at my mercy! And I get to wear jeans while they all have to wear suits.
This could go to my head.

So my friend Mary and I are starting to watch Grey's Anatomy. From the beginning. Season one. As many of you know, I am already a very dedicated Grey's fan and have seen every episode at least three times which means I know exactly what is going to happen at all times and so all I do is stare at Mary as I wait for her reaction to whatever dramatic event is going on. She says its really weird.

I'm currently sitting in the ASH lounge with my debate partner, pretending to be working on my debate while actually writing this blog post. I OWE IT TO MY FANS.

I have this really weird pain in my back whenever I breathe out. Strange.


Thursday, January 16, 2014

New Semester.

I deeply apologize for going completely radio silent.
Second semester has just begun and I'm doing all of the fun stuff that goes with that, i.e. getting all my books, feeling out the teaching styles, and the worst: attempting to readjust my sleeping schedule. Ugh.

Not right now, because I'm currently sitting in the ASH lounge area and my laptop is dangerously close to dying. So I have to make this fast.
I DON'T HAVE CLASS ON FRIDAYS. And that's tomorrow. So you will definitely get a lengthy post tomorrow. Unless I forget. Which is a distinct possibility.


Sunday, January 5, 2014

Episode I

Well, I was supposed to fly out of Orlando today and reunite with my beloved Nebraska, but Florida just can't let me go. Florida ran to the airport after me and convinced the weather to be so bad that basically every airport in the Midwest is closed. Florida is trapping me here against my will. This does not bode well for our relationship. This will only lead to resentment and infidelity in the future.

So here I am, in a different rental house, watching the game (GO PACKERS). And I figured,I guess I should start the vacation story. So here it is.

EPISODE I of 'The Rosenau Family's Vacation'

So we flew out of Eppley airport in Omaha, NE on Monday, December 30, 2013. That was last year. I've been here for a year. Anyway, we had a connection in Chicago, but made it to Orlando that evening. The brothers and I had to sit next to each other on both flights and it was a miracle that we all came out alive with all of our limbs still attached to our bodies. We rented a house in Orlando and made our way there and prepared for the next day. New Year's Eve. Disney World. Chaos. Destruction. Terror.
Dad woke us up at 5:30 the next morning and we were in the car by 6:30, at the park by 7:45. And it was okay at first. We were lulled into a false sense of security. There wasn't a terrible number of people and we managed to get onto space mountain with only a half hour wait. But oh, how the horrifying the day was to become. As it turns out, New Year's Eve is Disney World's biggest day of the year. They reach capacity. Capacity is over 100,000. By noon it was madness. The streets were packed, the lines for rides were hours long. Above each ride was a little digital screen saying how long the wait would be and most of them were 90-185 minutes. AND PEOPLE WERE STILL GETTING IN LINE. AND WE WERE SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE. It came to the point where just walking down the street was like being in a line because it was so packed that we would move about a foot forward every minute. AND THE STROLLERS. They're like little fleets of military transportation. There are the smallest of them, only room enough for the child to sit in it. Those are the jeeps. Then are the ones with the little hoods over them and the storage underneath. Those are the armored trucks. There are the double long ones, with hoods and storage and kids sitting inside it like it's a bus. Those are the aircraft carriers. Then there are the "Stroller Destroyers". The double-wide, could hold four toddlers and enough snacks to make it through the apocalypse strollers. They will mow you down without a second thought. It was terrifying. Every moment was a fight for your life. It's hard to even think about. And the foreigners. There were so many! I barely heard any English. Lot's of Spanish. Half of Venezuela was there.
The original plan was to stay until midnight (which would have been 17 hours at the park) but by 6 we knew this was not going to happen. We were at our wits end. We were drowning in tourists. We made in until the first round of fireworks at 8:30 and then we were out of there. Speeding in the opposite direction as fast as humanly possible.
Dad later said that he didn't fully understand what "busiest day of the year" meant.



Well Florida, it's been fun. But I have to get back to Nebraska. We knew this had to end! It was just a fling, nothing more. Nebraska and I, we have a relationship. Long term. I can't just throw that away. You're just not the state for me. I know it hurts now, but in time you'll forget. More tourists will come to ease your pain. They'll buy your cheap trinkets and make you feel loved. I'll never forget what we had together. It was beautiful and warm. But Nebraska and the snow are my real loves. I'm so sorry.
(P.S. Don't tell Nebraska that I cheated with you. Nebraska thinks I was at a fountain pen convention in Iowa. Nebraska doesn't worry about that because there's no way I could ever love Iowa and Nebraska knows it. So sshhhhh.)


Saturday, January 4, 2014

Apology post

Okay, I owe you guys an apology.
I said I would post about the Disney World bonanza and I haven't yet.
And I promise I will post A LOT about it in the next few days.
But I have an early flight tomorrow so I have to get to bed.

But in all honesty, you're going to want to check back.
Some serious stuff went down.
You don't wanna miss it.