Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Childhood Episode 2

OKAY.

I have so much homework tonight. I shouldn't be posting. I've been avoiding 'Death of a Salesman' all week, and the quiz is tomorrow. This is pretty usual for me. We had ALL SUMMER to read Frankenstein, and I read it the night before the test. Took me two hours. I got a 104%. That's right. I rocked it. I'm hoping that this will be no different.

OH. I have a story for you.

Episode 2 of Nicole's Childhood:

So today my mom and I were driving home from a doctor's appointment and we were talking about the time I was hospitalized after kindergarten. I had this infection in my bone and I was in the Kearney hospital for like a week. I remember the night I was checked in. I was 6, I think, so my dad was carrying me while my mom checked me in. I threw up on him in the waiting room.
Now, you have to understand. My father is HORRIFIED by vomit. Mom has always been the one to clean up after us. He even hates his own vomit. And I emptied my stomach directly on him. It's a traumatic memory for him. I also remember this other thing. They had me hooked up to several machines. A pick line and an i.v. and stuff. I had to drag them with me whenever I had to go to the bathroom. Usually my mom was there to help me. But there was one day when she wasn't there and I REALLY HAD TO GO, so I unhooked everything and dragged them with me one at a time. It took like, 10 minutes. Then, I got to the bathroom and realized.... they had unhooked me from everything the day before. I was a very pissed 6 year old. I got A LOT of presents that week. Enough coloring books to last years. Balloons, candy. My mom said that after I got out and we had carted it all out she asked me if it was worth it. (the emotional trauma in exchange for the gifts.) Apparently I said yes. I was also a rather selfish 6 year old. Although, I'm not really sure that has changed in 12 years.


OH MY GOSH. THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT ARTHUR MILLER (playwrite) ON PLL (yes, I'm still watching. Season 2, episode 16) AND DEATH OF A SALESMAN WAS WRITTEN BY ARTHUR MILLER.
Not that exciting. But still. I enjoy it. Ignore my weird.

Well..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................I should probably actually start my homework ..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................EXPLETIVE. MULTIPLE EXPLETIVES.


Over.

Monday, April 29, 2013

I am lame.

Welp. Today I had my audition to get into the college piano program that I want.

AND I GOT IN.

Thank you, thank you. *bows*

I also had my LAST piano recital today.
My teacher cried.
She loves me.

It is super late. 10:01 pm. THAT IS SUPER LATE FOR ME.
MY SELF-IMPOSED BEDTIME IS 8:30
I know, I'm a wimp. I like my sleep.

So I'm going to go to bed.

I KNOW THIS WAS A SUPER SHORT SUPER LAME POST.
BUT I NEED MY SLEEP OR TOMORROW I'LL BE A BASKET CASE AND HURT SOMEONE BECAUSE I HATE STUPID PEOPLE AND THEIR STUPIDITY IS AMPLIFIED WHEN I'M TIRED AND MY SCHOOL HAS AN OVERABUNDANCE OF STUPID.

I promise tomorrow will be better.

I have ALL night to come up with something good.

And goodnight.

Over.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

I have no freaking idea.

WELL. It's Sunday. I had Friday off. It's 7 o'clock on Sunday.

I haven't started my homework yet.

I'M A FREAKING SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL THERE'S LESS THAN A MONTH I JUST WANT TO BE DONE PLEASE LET ME BE DONE.

But no. The projects and papers continue.

So, instead I'm on my blog, posting about pointless things, avoiding it further.
Thank all of you for helping me evade the complete horrors that public school has inflicted upon me.
They're torturing me.
SAVE ME.
REACH THROUGH THE INTERNET AND SAVE ME.

Inane facts:
1. Today, my mom found an old iHome in the hall closet. It still works. I have claimed it as my own.
2. A few days ago I made these AWESOME cookie/brownie things (half cookie, half brownie, make it like a cupcake with a peanut butter cup in the middle) (I'll post a how-to) And I have resorted to hiding them in three different tupperware containers across my kitchen because my brother is eating them three at a time. There's even one in the drawer with the towels and washcloths.
3. Those things are probably like 900 calories each.
4. I'm halfway through season 2 of PLL.
5. Even I think that's pathetic.
6. I can't think of another fact.
7. Dang it.

Doo...doo....doo...
What do you guys want me to write about?
You should leave comments with suggestions.
Because my daily life is just not exciting enough to write about.
More tales from my childhood?
Marching band horror stories?

My aunt gave me a little plaque that says, "Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic."

PLAYLIST OF THE DAY:
1. Anna Sun, by WALK THE MOON - it sounds like summer to me
2. Shot In The Dark, by Augustana - I really have no idea. I like it.
3. Eleanor Rigby, by The Beatles - it's a fave. I'm coming back to the classics.


WELL I THINK I HAVE RAMBLED ENOUGH FOR ONE NIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO WRITE ABOUT?
PLEASE COMMENT BECAUSE I'M DROWNING HERE GUYS.

Over.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Dying..........................

My teachers are trying to kill me. Like, seriously. They're poisoning me. THEY ARE CHOPPING MY LIMBS OFF ONE BY ONE WITH THESE HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS. I'm losing the will to live. 
Slowly. Everyday. Little by little. I estimate that I have 42 percent of life force left.

It is day 7 of being stranded in the desert. “hey is it hot in here or is it just me” I say to myself. I may be losing my mind, but I am gaining self confidence.

I told you. Brain cells are dying. Actually it's more like they're exploding.

SO. My AP English teacher has assigned us one of the most pointless assignments I have ever received. We just finished reading Hamlet and this weekend we are supposed to find a literary criticism of Hamlet, 8-20 pages (Easy enough. Normal.) THEN WE HAVE TO WRITE A LITERARY CRITICISM OVER THE LITERARY CRITICISM WE FIND. 4 PAGES. I can't- I can't even. Done. 110% done.

And I have an AP Government project due over court cases related to sexual harassment. FUN.

Hm... what to write... what to write....

I'm watching Grey's Anatomy.
NEW EPISODE.
THAT'S MY FAVORITE THING.
That and books.
I'm addicted to buying books.
Dan claims that I am single-handedly funding Amazon.
He might be right.
OH MY GO- SHE'S DYING. SHE WAS FINE JUST A SECOND AGO NO SHE CAN'T BE DYING 
NOT OKAY HOLD THE PHONE EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP SHE'S FREAKING DYING.









She died. I am very sad now. She had a kid. Very sad. Sad sad sad sad sad sad sad. I have nothing inside but sadness. I AM DROWNING IN MY OWN SADNESS. THE POOR FREAKING KID.

Also, tomorrow I have a 5 HOUR ENGLISH SESSION AT 7 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING. Yay for my Sunday. 

This post got really weird in the middle. Sorry. I get really into my TV shows. I sort of start to believe that I'm IN the show. Which is SO not healthy.


This is a strange post. But I'm publishing it anyway. (That's what the little button says. Publish. It makes it sound so official.) I might post a story later tonight if I can somehow manage to make myself think coherently. Good luck to that.

Over.



Friday, April 26, 2013

Episode One of Marching Band

Yesterday we had to take concert band pictures for our local newspaper.
That means we all put on our band uniforms, tried desperately to find a pair of shoes that fit, and stood on stage holding our instruments. (I'm a French Horn by the way.)
IT WAS MY LAST TIME WEARING MY MARCHING BAND UNIFORM. EVER.

I asked Mount Dawg (Mr. Mount, the band teacher, he's the coolest and we call him Mount Dawg) if I could buy my uniform if they ever bought new ones. He just looked at me and said, "Why?" The rest of my section echoed his sentiment. BUT I LOVE MY UNIFORM. So many memories. So many parades and football games. I had some great times in the uniform! Plus, the pants are super comfortable. (Mount Dawg called them 'trousers') AND THEY HAVE SUSPENDERS. The uniform also has many lovely pockets. I have hidden things such as cell phones, candy, reindeer antlers, deodorant, several pairs of earrings, and a LOT of lemon drops in those pockets. Quite roomy. I'm going to put my band shoes out at my graduation party with a little plaque that reads, "Here lie Nicole's marching band shoes. RIP the rest of her uniform. She loved it dearly." Or something along those lines.
I have so many marching band stories. So many. Some sad. Some funny. Some terrifying.

And here I will write my first band story:
Episode One of Nicole's High School Marching Band Career:

The summer after my Freshman year was my band trip. They do one every four years so every band student gets to go once. We went to Boston. AND SOMEHOW WE MANAGED TO GO ON THE HOTTEST WEEK BOSTON HAS HAD IN TEN YEARS. According to the news. It was at least 100 degrees (fahrenheit) EVERY DAY. And since we were tourists, we did a lot of sightseeing, OUTSIDE.
Then there was the parade. The band trip always involves a parade in whatever city we're in. They told us it was 2 miles. IT WAS ACTUALLY FOUR AND A HALF. SOMEONE CLOCKED IT. AND HALF OF IT WAS UPHILL. AND WE WERE IN FULL UNIFORM WITH OUR PANTS AND JACKETS AND GAUNTLETS AND HATS AND FREAKING PLUMES. I'm still in pain from the injustice of it all. Every other band was in shorts and t-shirts. And all of the people on the sides watching were like, "You're doing so good!" "You're almost done!" "Just a little bit further!" "You're almost ther-" NO WE WERE NOT ALMOST THERE. WE HAD THREE MILES TO GO. (But we must have looked like dying cattle because they were all very sympathetic and encouraging.) We had a couple of kids pass out from heat stroke and paramedics met us at the end.

(More on Boston later. It's full of stories.)

Over.

              (Here is a photo of me in my band uniform looking sexy as all get out.)
(Seriously. Look at those shoes. And that jacket. And I promise that the suspender pants are super comfy.)

Over again.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Ginger Fro

Today. Today.... Today is a day. A Thursday. A Thursday in April. April the 25th.
Thanks to me for stating the obvious.
I'm on episode 14 of Pretty Little Liars.
After 3 days.
This is bad.
This show is freaking me out.
STOP IT NICOLE.
STOP IT.

Today in French, Seth spent half the block making a ring out of a silver gum wrapper. It was a work of art really. Took him 40 minutes. And then when he finished, he handed it to me and said, "One ring to rule them all." I was so excited. I put it on my ring finger and announced, "Seth asked me to marry him with the ring of power!" Then my French teach said, "En Francais" and our engagement was broken. So sad.

So, today...today I wrote a fugue. Well, I presented the fugue that I wrote. For those of you not taking advanced music theory, a fugue is a type of classical song. Like a sonata, but not. And I had to write one.
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO WRITE A FUGUE? THERE'S THIS EXACT FORMULA BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S SUPER VAGUE AND YOU KINDA DUMP STUFF ON THE PAGE BUT IN A WEIRD EXACT ORDER.
Google it. It's hard.
I advocate Google a lot. They should pay me.
FREE ADVERTISING PEOPLE.
BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO BE FREE.

I will be officially done with high school in less than a month. A MONTH. 13 YEARS OF PUBLIC SCHOOL AND THE GATES ARE VISIBLE IN THE DISTANCE. (I use all caps a lot. Does that bother you guys? I hope not. But then again, I don't know if I'd really care. CAPS FOREVER.)
But yeah. School's almost done.
Well, of course there's college. And probably grad school because I manage to expend the greatest amount of money possible at all times. And I'm going to be an English major. And that's every father's dream. Because you know, English majors have great job security.
(Sarcasm. If you don't know me, that was sarcasm. We're very fond of each other, sarcasm and I.)
But I'm not thinking about college right now because there is a TON of party planning going on. (I'm having a pasta bar! I love pasta.)
And I have to figure out what to wear!
I was explaining to Ted in French today that girls have to wear dresses to their grad party. This astounded him. And it has to be a new dress that no one has ever seen before. Because... that's just how it is.  And we need a DIFFERENT dress to wear under our graduation robe (with cute shoes).
We females are very confusing. I don't even get us most of the time.

Sorry about writing about girly stuff for the whole post.
I promise next time I'll talk about something manly. Like... I don't even know what guys talk about. Sam (my little brother) spends all his time in the show. And Dan (my older brother) is kind of in the middle of a midlife crisis at the age of 21. He goes golfing with his friend Adam and some of their other friends' parents and has started wearing khaki shorts and polos. Real khaki shorts. Not cargo shorts. Khaki. I can't look at him without laughing. Dad told him that the 50's called and they want their shorts back. Dan came back with, 2013 called and they want you to get a fashion sense. Dan, of course, is a straight male who spent most of his high school career with a GINGER FRO.

Over.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Stockholm Syndrome?

TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY.

I'm spoiling you guys. I really am. I don't know if you deserve this.
BUT, I got on this evening because I was (and currently am) kinda bored.
AND I GOT 38 VIEWS YESTERDAY. 
WOAH.
I only started this two weeks ago!
38 probably doesn't seem like a lot, but since it's just my stupid thoughts and stories on a website, it's kind of amazing that people actually want to read it. Maybe I'll become an internet sensation. But probably not.
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL.

Also, it said I had some viewers from Germany. Where did you guys come from?
SHOUT OUT TO THE GERMAN READERS.
AND THE AMERICAN ONES.
AND THE NEBRASKAN ONES. (Technically they are also in America but I have to give a shout to my roots.)

This is a pointless post. Totally pointless. Let me think of something funny. 

OH. Yesterday, during my library aid block at school (yes, I'm a library aid AND I WORK at a library. Total nerd.) we somehow got onto the subject of Stockholm Syndrome. And we researched it. Like hardcore researched it. I know way to much.
Here is brief explanation: Stockholm Syndrome is when a captive begins to bond with their captor/kidnapper/whatever. Like if you get kidnapped and then start falling in love with your kidnapper. 
MESSED UP.
But I guess the psychology of it is that they control your world. Your food and comfort and all of that and it just happens.
The first case happened in Stockholm, Sweden (NAME ORIGIN) when 6 or 7 bank employees were held captive in a bank vault for 6 days. They apparently tried to keep from getting rescued when the cops came, and they testified FOR the robbers that held them.
I'M SO DISTURBED BY ALL OF THIS NEW KNOWLEDGE IN MY HEAD.
Another case!
A girl (can't remember her name) was kidnapped by a group that was ransoming her for several million dollars and he parents wouldn't pay and she ended up JOINING THIS ORGANIZATION AND HELPING ROB BANKS AND KIDNAP OTHER PEOPLE. 
I can't get over this.
So weird.
So messed up.
Never research weird syndromes.
You'll probably regret it.

Over.

Addiction...

I have a confession to make.

I'm a TV show addict. I'm in the middle of... 6 different shows at the moment.
Earlier this year I managed to watch (and buy) 8 SEASONS of Grey's Anatomy in the space of about 2 months. Totally unhealthy. I didn't do anything else. I just went home and watched Grey's. Seriously. Then I went to work and gave them a rundown on everything that had happened since I'd last been there. AND THEY ACTUALLY LISTENED. Probably out of pity, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm sure I'll post more on Grey's later. I have some very strong feelings on certain things (like how they KILLED MARK. HE WAS MY MAIN SOURCE OF COMIC RELIEF.)

I'm currently (right at this moment) watching Pretty Little Liars. Season 1, Episode 6. I just started yesterday.  (That's five episodes in one day.)
I SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS. THIS IS BAD. BAD NICOLE. STOP.

BUT I CAN'T.

I get in certain moods for certain shows.
Burn Notice - when I'm feeling kick/badass
Numb3rs - makes me feel like maybe nerds can live exciting lives. maybe hope is not lost.
Modern Family - rather obvious. when I want to be amused.

There are more, but it would just become too embarrassing. The pathetic-ness of my life astounds even me sometimes.

This was a lame post. (I'm really liking the word lame. I might have already said that, but as always, I don't really care.)

OH NO SHE DIDN'T. Something big just went down. Pretty Little Liars now has my full attention.

Over.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Childhood: Episode 1

I'm supposed to post every day.
EVERY SINGLE DAY.
IT'S REALLY HARD TO HAVE NEW MATERIAL TO TALK ABOUT EVERY SINGLE DAY.

So, instead, I will give you a funny story from my childhood.

When I was about six, and still lived in Cozad, Nebraska (we moved the summer before I went to second grade) we got a new dog. We're a schnauzer family (TO THE DEATH) and Dexter, our previous dog had died a few years ago. I think it was a few years. I don't really know, I was six. But Dexter died. And mom was given a new schnauzer on mother's day.
BABY SCHNAUZERS ARE SERIOUSLY THE CUTEST THINGS ON THIS PLANET. GOOGLE IT.
She named him Skipper. (Which will become very ironic later.) And I loved him. I loved him so much.
But he was not easy to potty train, as I am told. (This whole story was told to me by my dad, because I was six years old and nobody remembers being six years old.)
My dad continued to say things like, "The next time he pees on the floor, he's gone!" And stuff like that. (Even though he is the biggest softy ever and could never ever do that.)
Then one day, after a particularly vehement tirade by my father, I apparently burst into tears and announced, "If I poop on the floor will you get rid of me too?" My eighteen-year-old self thinks that this was a brilliant maneuver. He did not get rid of the dog. More Skipper stories to come. (He becomes a great source of tragic irony.)

Hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of 'The Childhood of Nicole Rosenau'
More to come.
They will probably get weirder and potentially insanely awkward.
Prepare yourselves.

Over.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Jello + Stapler

I put my AP Government teacher's stapler in jello. That was my thing.

AND IT WAS AWESOME.
Took me forever. A whole night. Many hours. My mom helped. (I mentioned that before.) (Shout out to mom!)
Three double packages of lime jello.
Water.
Ice cubes. (which are technically water)
A bread pan. (that's what I put it in)
A cooler with a crap ton of ice packs.
A stapler.

She loved it. She just got to her desk, looked down, started laughing, turned around and said, "Rosenau."
SHE KNEW RIGHT AWAY. SHE KNEW.
My fellow classmates did not expect this because I am me and I am a good girl and I do not prank people by defacing their personal belongings.
BUT IT WAS WORTH IT.
My name shall live forever.
Not really.

I'm going to make a how to bar, I've decided, (next to the book rants). How to do all of the stupid things that I can't seem to stop doing. A stapler in jello will be my first entry.
Because it is HARD.
Seriously!
I had a practice round, and a whole night, and the internet at my disposal, and it still sort of split at the top.
THE INTERNET PEOPLE.
Shout out to 'The Office' production team. You guys must have been chemical engineer geniuses or something. Or maybe you just had a lot of time and resources. Either way, PROPS.

So that was my big thing. Maybe not as exciting as you were expecting.
BUT I LOVED IT.
AND SO DID MY TEACHER.
SO THERE.

Over.


I have pictures!
That's me in the back with my chin in my hands looking all innocent. They all moved to get me in the picture

Here I am with my creation. She wanted me in a picture. I look like a total idiot, and she posted it on her twitter. HER TWITTER PEOPLE. SHE HAS A TWITTER AND THIS AWFUL PICTURE IS ON IT.

Over again. Dang it! It won't let me un-center!

Over again again.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

TOMORROW

I'VE GOT SOMETHING BIG PLANNED FOR TOMORROW. Been working on it all night. Lot's of preparation. Even my mom helped. Details to come. Stay tuned.
(This could be the thing that gets me arrested!)
(Not really.)
(I'm a good kid.)
(Check back tomorrow)

Over.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Defibrillator Madness

Someone set off the defibrillator today. I was playing host again (District Music), taking showchoirs around and one school (I won't say which one) was waiting to go into the warm-up area. AND ONE OF THEIR BOYS SET OFF THE DEFIBRILLATOR. The thing was SO loud. Like a really high pitched fire alarm. Their director wouldn't let them go into warm-up until our assistant principal showed up ten minutes later. It was a really awkward ten minutes. And the guys from a different group kept talking to me. I had a name tag on, so they were continuously saying, "Hi, Nicole." "Thank you, Nicole." "Nicole, we appreciate your hostness." Nicole, Nicole Nicole. I think it's safe to say that they were A-FLIRTIN'. Oh well. It was funny. One of them even winked.

Okay, this post is really short but I am super tired because Emily and I stayed up TILL FREAKING TWO IN THE MORNING THEN GOT UP AT SEVEN and I had to be cheerful and awake all day, and I'm not cheerful or awake on my GOOD days, much less the ones where I go five hours of sleep. WILL SAY MORE TOMORROW. BUT IN THE MEANTIME, don't set off any defibrillators.

Over.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Musings

DISTRICT MUSIC TODAY. The Blair 11/12 Band got a 1+ (which is the best rating!) AND IT WAS MY LAST HIGH SCHOOL BAND CONCERT. O-M-FREAKING-G. Then I had to "host", which means I led groups around and got REALLY BAD blisters on my feet from those STUPID heels. (But some of the Elkhorn boys were cute.) (Don't tell them I said that.) And I have to do it AGAIN TOMORROW. WHAT.

Also, I dry shaved this morning, and it HURTS LIKE A *****. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD HURTS THIS BAD. AND IT KIND OF ITCHES. BUT I CAN'T ITCH IT BECAUSE IT HUUUUURTS. And I just got out of the hottub, AND THAT REEEEAALY HURT. I talk a lot about the physical pain I inflict upon myself. Hm.

I drank bad milk today. Thought I was going to have to cut off my tongue because IT WAS REALLY GROSS. I scrubbed my tongue with my toothbrush. Still gross.

I don't have very much to say tonight. But I'm supposed to post EVERY DAY. BECAUSE APPARENTLY I HAVE FANS. I also like talking in capital letters, but for some reason, I don't use exclamation points. I guess it gives me this weird fervor without the sharp aftertaste. THAT didn't make sense. But I'm not deleting it, because I strongly believe that whenever you erase/delete things, they go back to that vacuum in the soul that doctors can't find but is slowly killing most Americans. JUST GET IT OUT EVERYONE.

Over.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

FIRST BOOK RANT.

I WROTE A BOOK RANT. MY FIRST ONE. It's totally lame. Lame. I like that. I think I'm going to start using that more often. Get ready for lame as an insult. But I wrote it. Maybe you shouldn't read it. Yeah, you probably shouldn't read it. MOVING ON. Tomorrow is District Music! Yay.... I am working three shifts as a HOST. Because being a host is fun. It makes me feel important. And I get to look pretty. (That doesn't happen very often.) Now I'm off to dinner to meet some potential roommates! YAY. Wow. This was short. Will probably post more later. Because this is very short.

BACK FROM DINNER AND I'M UPDATING THE DAY. I have two roommates! YAY. We're going to have 'the office' marathons in blanket forts. This could be a good year.

Over.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Weather...

I should definitely be doing my French homework, but instead I'm going to blog about the weather.

IT'S SO INTENSELY DARK. LIKE IT'S NOT REALLY DARK BUT THE COLORS ARE SO SHARP AND INTENSE THAT I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT. Maybe I should just stay inside all the time.

MY LAST BOOK CAME TODAY! I skipped all the way into the house, then informed my mother that I would no longer be getting the mail everyday, because my final book has arrived and she just looked at me. I then suggested that they routinely order me books online, because this would motivate me to get the mail. For just $20 a month, they could have their own personal mail getter! She chose to decline my offer. Her loss.

Over.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice, Aquaman...

SO TODAY... over lunch Marinna (AREN'T YOU EXCITED? YOU SAID YOU WANTED YOUR NAME ON THE BLOG SO THERE YOU GO.) were talking about A and B personalities. We are both 'A's. This is how she described it: "We are very obsessive and addictive (by addictive she means WE are the ones who get addicted to things. Take me and books for example.) and CONTROLLING. Very controlling. In contrast, a 'B' personality is very go-with-the-flow, laid back, etc. I AM SO AN 'A'. SO TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY.

So, Sam (my little brother) (he's a Freshman) has developed this habit of taking EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG showers. Like half an hour to 45 minutes. REALLY LONG. And there's this weird thing in our upstairs bathrooms where the water pressure sucks. So I can't shower while he's shower. We now have to coordinate our shower schedules because Sam needs a solid block of time. HE'S A BOY. THIS SHOULD NOT BE A THING. Also, tonight my dad renamed him Aquaman, saying that water is his natural habitat. I will be dispensing with his given name from now on. Aquaman it is...

"Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice, Aquaman...."

Sometimes I am so funny that I crack myself up.

Then other times I say things that I don't think are funny at all, AND EVERYONE LAUGHS AT ME. Like the cereal water thing. I forgot the word for milk and called it cereal water. IS THAT REALLY SO FUNNY? Also my French class lives to mock me. I sometimes get really lost and ask a question that I actually want the answer to and they just burst out laughing. EXAMPLE: one class we spent most the block using the word 'dabord' (or at least I think that's what it was). Over and over and over it was d'abord, d'abord, d'abord.  And finally, after about an hour of this, I asked "What are we boarding?" Turns out it meant train. This was six months ago and THEY STILL WON'T LET IT GO.

I suppose that's my purpose in life. Entertainment.

Sorry I didn't manage to get arrested yet. Maybe by the next post. Anyone have any creative suggestions?

Over.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Cat Stories?

So at work today, Celeste (THAT IS YOUR SECOND SHOUT-OUT YOU ARE SO SPOILED) told me that it the post content doesn't really matter, as long as I post consistently. Personally, I think the content DOES matter. I mean, what if I just told funny stories about my cats for four paragraphs? That would suck. So I will attempt to post decently creative things at regular intervals. Bear with me please.

I will be posting some book rants VERY SOON. If you look up in the little bar above, you will find a little tab option called BOOK RANTS. That is where I will spill my intestines out for everyone to see in the form of completely and totally incoherent (OH MY GOODNESS SOMEHOW I BIT THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH AND IT HURTS REALLY BAD. I CAN TASTE BLOOD. THAT IS GROSS.) replays of books that I have read. There will probably be a lot of spoilers, so read at your own peril (DUSK.)

MY MOUTH REALLY HURTS.

The U.S. Postal Service is spoiling me. Six days ago I ordered three books off of Amazon. One of them arrived four days ago, and another came today. You know how Amazon gives you a little range of when they say your package will arrive? It starts tomorrow. They're getting me into the habit of expecting my books to come early! They'd better keep this up. Otherwise I will get grumpy. AND YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE GRUMPY. NO SIR. But I have 2 new book already! Yay! (Little happy dance jig)

I also think I'm going to make some kind of music tab. Or maybe I'll just say it in the post.
SONGS OF THE DAY:
'Shine On You Crazy Diamond' (Pink Floyd cover), sung by Kendra Morris
'Icarus', by The Hours (SO FREAKING GOOD YOUTUBE IT RIGHT NOW)
'Battle Scars', by Guy Sebastian (I'm feeling the groove)

Well, that's all for today. This probably falls into the category of not-interesting-but-speedily-posted entries.
I'LL TRY TO GENERATE SOME BETTER STORIES. And if that means getting arrested... so be it.

Over.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Three Days and Not Much To Say (Ha! That Sort Of Rhymed)

Well. Second post. I had stuff planned out to say, pre-planned topics and funny anecdotes and everything. And... now I can't remember any of them. Looks like I'm winging it.
Julia and I went on a lovely little outing yesterday. I had to see 42 (the new movie about Jackie Robinson) so that I can review it for newspaper (which I still need to write). We were driving down Center and right there on my left was Half Price Books, and I just screamed 'HOLD IT'. We flipped a U-ey, and there we were. I would just like to point out that Julia is an enabler. SHE IS A TOTAL ENABLER. SHE SHOULD PROBABLY NEVER LIVE WITH A CRACK ADDICT BECAUSE SHE MIGHT FINANCE THEIR ADDICTION. So...I came away with 'For Whom The Bell Tolls' (Hemmingway), and a biography called 'Brain On Fire: My Month Of Madness' (about this girl whose body is literally attacking her brain). I have a problem.
We got to the movie, and the internet was wrong so we had two hours to kill, so we went to Applebees. We're pretty sure the waiter though we were gay. It was awkward. THEN WE FINALLY GOT TO THE MOVIE. To be honest, it kind of made me ashamed to be white. We were super mean. And the whole time I was really worried that something was going to happen to his kid, all I could think was, "NOT THE BABY."
This is a really weird blog post. Why are you reading this? Is it as weird as I think it is? Probably.
OH. I HAVE ANOTHER THING.
Two days ago (Friday), was my LAST HIGH SCHOOL BAND CONCERT. EVER. LAST CONCERT EVER. I got to wear a fake mustache, because we didn't get out marching band Senior night, which I am still pretty bitter about (EIGHT YEARS OF DEDICATION AND ALL I WANT IS A SENIOR NIGHT WHERE I GET TO WEAR A FUNNY HAT) and I got to be recognized as a choir senior (even though I haven't been in choir since Freshman year, but I guess three years of dedicated showchoir accompaniment earned me a spot on the fake choir kid roster). YEAH.
It was sad, of course. But I don't want to talk about the sad part because this is supposed to be me being colorful and funny, and me being sad about my deep, heartfelt love and dedication to the Blair High School music program will only further to probably make me cry. *Sigh*
And on that thoroughly depressing not, I now have to attempt to write a review on this movie without saying anything about the shame of the Caucasain race. Good luck to me.

Over.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

THE VERY FIRST ENTRY

Well... This is the very first entry. Which is a little bit awkward. But I need to post something because I am trying to figure out how this site works, and whenever I click 'View Blog', the page is EMPTY. On another note, when it asked me to pick my 'layout design' or whatever, there was an option called AWESOME INC. So, OF COURSE I PICKED THAT ONE. Who doesn't want an Awesome Inc. blog? I hope this is some kind sign that this blog will be awesome, and by the transitive property I will also be awesome. I just used the words 'transitive property'. MAYBE FIFTH GRADE MATH REALLY WAS GOOD FOR SOMETHING. MAYBE THE TWELVE YEARS I'VE PUT INTO PUBLIC EDUCATION HAVE ACTUALLY MEANT SOMETHING. Excuse me, thirteen years. I always forget to count kindergarten.

ANYWAY, since this is the first entry, I should probably say a little something about myself, an explanation as it were, as to why I started this blog. So here it is:
I am currently a senior in high school and will soon be graduating, released into the great unknown like a guppy into the ocean. (Guppy = me, ocean = college). For the past year and a half I have been employed by my city's oh-so-lovely public library. (Really, it's lovely. I'm a total nerd. I love my job.) I take it upon myself to bring joy and happiness to my fellow coworkers, entertaining them with my exploits and shenanigans. (wow, it counted shenanigans as a real word, no underlined spell-check thing) SO, a few days ago, Celeste, (a coworker who I hope does not mind that her name is now publicly on my blog, RELEASED TO THE UNIVERSE.) told me that, and I quote, "my life was colorless before I met you." I took this as the utmost of  compliments and asked her whatever would she do once I am gone? She replied... "START A BLOG". So here I am, keeping this record of my days, solely for the entertainment of all of those who care to read it. I hope to offer you many chuckles in the coming months.

I'm trying to figure out how to end this post. It's my first post. A monumental event. THIS IS IMPORTANT. How I finish this will forever set the precedent for THE REST OF EVERY POST. I mean, I supposed I could probably change it in the future, you know, just re-edit or whatever. But that feels wrong. Immoral or something. Like I'm lying. So this is it. The big moment. I'm still stalling. This is really hard. WHY IS THIS SO HARD? I could go simple, and say something like 'Nicki out', but that doesn't really flow... or I could say something foreign and sophisticated, like 'Ciao', But that's not really the way I roll. I'VE GOT IT. PREPARE YOURSELF.

Over.