She's Going To Jail

Today I was at work and I thought about the time when I was in like eighth grade and we went to the Durham museum and some girl got caught with vodka in her water bottle and the vice principal had to pick her up and drive her back to the school and all I could think about was how awkward that ride would have been and would she have sat in the front seat or the back seat and if she was in the back was he glaring at her through the rear view mirror and how did she get caught anyway?

I PROMISED YOU GUYS A STORY:

So... a friends of mine came out for a few days of our vacation and we (plus Sam and his friend Kyle) decided we were going to go swimming in the lake for awhile. There was a roped off section and there were a bunch of people there but not too many and we had our floaties that we had bought at the Woodbine Dollar General (AKA the 'Walmart of Woodbine') (they cost $6 but we had at least $18 worth of fun). SO WE HAD OUR FLOATIES and we were in the water, floating around and such and this little boy swims over to us. He proceeded to tell us that his name was Seth and she told him her name and he told us he was 11 and a half and she told him we were 18. He sort of looked like he was having trouble swimming so she asked him if he wanted to hold onto her tube. He did. He wrapped his arms around her neck and a moment later she mouthed, "his legs are wrapped around me!" and indeed, they were wrapped around her stomach. 

KEEP IN MIND THAT WE DO NOT KNOW THIS BOY.

A few minutes later he asks her if there's room in the tube for both of them. She immediately offers to let him use it and she slips out of it and as she's getting ready to pass it to him he starts getting closer, and closer, until his head is resting on her shoulder and his arms and legs are wrapped around her. She asks, "What are you doing?" He replies, "Hugging you."

We finally get him into the tube and i am continuously dunking myself under to keep from laughing and he CONTINUES to follow us. His friend who is swimming a little ways a way then yells, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE SUCH A CREEP. WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH THOSE GIRLS?" He yells back, "I GUESS I'M JUST LUCKY LIKE THAT."

Freaking kid.

After a little while I ask him if it would be okay for her and I to float out into the deeper water and talk. He takes off the tube to give to her but before she can take it, he reattaches himself to her. Like a barnacle. He finally detaches and swims away and then she looks at me and says, "He touched my ass."

She later told me that the whole time she was thinking, "I'm going to jail. I'm going to jail. This kid is hugging me and I'm going to jail."

It was quite a day.

Over.